Making Christmas Great Again..

This isn’t a fitness post, but its just whats been on my mind. (A fitness post soon to follow FYI)

My darling Zoey, you are turning three in 11 days. Christmas is in 25, my anniversary is in 30, and my boyfriend’s birthday follows all of that in January. Its a very busy, very expensive time of year for my family. Also because just two weeks before Zoey’s birthday is Thanksgiving, which also means Black Friday shopping and Cyber Monday shopping..It doesn’t seem to ever end.

I could site every single Christmas for myself as a child. Me and my sister and brother, were spoiled. Not rotten, because we were good kids, but yes, spoiled. My mom and dad spent thousands every single Christmas to make sure we had it all. I remember coming out every single Christmas morning to what seemed like my whole living room piled with presents. It usually took us a good 1-2 hours to open everything. And as if that wasn’t enough, my Nana would come to my house every Christmas Eve while we were at my Grampa’s birthday party, and lay out new bed sheets, blankets, comforters, night lights and pajamas for us.

I can’t give, what seems like more then a speck of that to my kids. Between Buck and I we have maybe a couple or a few hundred dollars to spend on the kids for Christmas and Zoeys birthday. For me, it does not seem ideal, and the depressing thoughts of letting my kids down has really got me this season.

We struggle. I mean, yeah, everyone struggles financially, but we struggle extra hard because of our careless choices in the past. Its made things a lot harder for us now, and it stinks to think we brought our kinds into our financial problems. Its not like there isn’t any money. Buck just got a second job as well and that is making tremendous help but weve only barely benefitted from it yet.

The main thing is, I guess I can’t shake the gloomey feeling. Christmas is my favorite. My favorite everything. Maybe its because of my childhood but I wouldn’t say that because my parents split up on one of our last Christmas’s together. Still, Christmas always gives me the warm fuzzies inside. The pretty lights, the decorations, I hate the cold (even more now that Im anemic again-again, coming up in my next post) The snow, the pine and spruce trees, Christmas wreaths, warm homes, flannels, hot chocolate, I love it ALL.

But I shouldn’t be feeling gloomey about not being able to give my kids thousands..of course, I wish I could. And if we budgeted better, we probably could. But we can’t now, and I hate that that’s the feeling that’s dragging Christmas down for me. I want Christmas to be about more then that. I want to spoil my kids to death, but I want them to feel the happiness and warmth of love from their families. I want to start traditions and make Christmas about more then presents again.

I’m glad I was able to get that all out, now I know I need to start finding these things, maybe give back to the community in some way.. Im new in town and as far as I know theres not a single homeless person around here, so no food shelters or anything like that. But plenty of nursing homes and people who might need help getting ready for Christmas. That will make Christmas great again.

Ill have to let you know how it goes. ❤



Here I Go Again On my Own

So, my last post was the first day of my Reverse Diet.

The following day my hubby got laid off and we spent the next couple of months in chaos relocating from Portland, to Madawaska, aka-Canada.

However chaotic the move, we have found such unbelievable blessings up here. But alas, my reverse diet lasted, a day. Ugh.

Since then I have been itching and itching to get back into prep and back with a coach. Unfortunately, we are still adjusting from a very costly move and are pay check to pay check on a good week. The average costs for coaches, for even online training, is bananas. I’m a mom of two small children. I work literally sun up to sun down, and then find time between those two jobs (because YES, motherhood is its own job,) to juggle studying for school (Nursing), work outs, meal prep and wifey lifey. It’s not reasonable to charge hundreds of thousands of dollars for coaching. I completely understand that the coach is more then likely well worth every single penny, but from the ordinary person like myself, these prices don’t sell! As a mother, I find it hard trying to justify to my family why I would take hundreds and hundreds of dollars away from them. Its not feasible. Its not reasonable. Why not adjust your prices to help more people? Do coaches and trainers out there think about all the people who probably want help but cant afford the costs?

Sigh..My post is not meant to complain although it may have ended up with a bit of that. I don’t understand the whole coach/personal training world but I can speculate on wanting to improve myself and living in an economy where this is not possible to do with personal training prices these days. My post was to hold myself accountable for my goals, which was the whole point of my blog when I started it, umm…a year ago?! BIG SIGH.

A couple weeks ago I decided that I was done waiting and saving for a coach. My family still needs so much that affording coaching will not be a possibility for me for a long time, as much as I would like to make it so. So I am going to start and go at it…alone.

Allow the shock to sink in for a moment. I had to, hah!

I have truly spent hours and hours and hours researching all there could possibly be about reverse diet, carb cycling diet, bikini prep diet, supplements, workouts, the human body/muscles and the exercises that work them, nutrition, form and on and on. I have notebooks filled with all Ive learned and I also am lucky enough to have a couple month’s experience with a coach this past spring. I learned a lot in those two months and I will apply it all to my plan.

My number one goal is to enter into the body building model search. I will likely still try for a bikini show because I think that will give me incentive and help along the way. I absolutely realize that I’m not a personal trainer, I’m not college-educated on such but I truly believe after speaking with many, and with the support and guidance of all the social media I can really meet a lot of my goals. Trial and error, but that’s how some of the best people have come to light on their own.

So, like I said above, I decided this a couple weeks ago. I have not worked out in almost a week now. I have been so sick and so frustrated from being sick. Today is Saturday and I have the day off and my lovely, beautiful hubby let me sleep in till 11 while he watched the littles. This really let me catch up on some rest. I spent the rest of the day studying math and catching up on that and hydrating myself. I havn’t been able to eat more then chicken noodle soup, candy (I crave when I’m sick-WTF), and cereal. So all the more frustrating when I can’t work out is when I can’t even eat right to balance it. Tonight I’ll try my best to stuff this face with fresh greens and chicken soup, and continue hydrating and PRAY I wake up better tomorrow.

So I am very anxious to begin my plan. Ive got it so well planned out right now and Im just waiting until this sick butt is better. I can’t wait to begin, I’ll post my macros (which I track through my fitness plan) and also add when I increase/if I need to decrease,  My work outs, my before and after photo updates, etc.

Here I go, (again) on my own..

See what I did there?  🙂