You can’t be afraid to fail..

My dearest Zoey,

“You can’t be afraid to fail. You can’t always win but you can’t be afraid of making decisions.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

Today has been about making decisions. I’ve decided to risk it all today for a dream I’ve played over in my head since I was a little girl. A dream I had long ago decided I couldn’t reach and that I was certain if I did try, it wouldn’t give me the outcome that my young heart so desired. So it became a dream I was certain I would fail and it ultimately became unobtainable.

Today those decisions have changed.

They have been erased and replaced. The wave of support I have washing over me is almost as overwhelming as the tingling fear that still resides. Yes, pieces of me are still afraid of failing. But I’ve decided that those pieces are to be ignored.

For the first time in my life I can truly say that my fear of failing is so small because I have made a decision with my heart. A piece of who I actually am. And whenever I make a decision with my heart’s input, it tends to be the right one.

My dream is to major in writing. To perfect my writing, to publish books. To add my love of fitness, family and nursing into this new dream to make it as real and raw as possible. This dream may seem small, maybe even silly or irrelevant to some, but it’s as big and real as any dream to me.

This is what I think about all day. What I’ve told myself is impossible to make a living from. Today I’ve told myself to stop that. Today I’ve asked myself, “Why not?”, “Why can’t I make a living from what I love?”, “Why can’t I live my dream?”.

I’ve decided I can.

I’ve decide more important than extra money, is you and your brother seeing your mom doing what she loves. I want you to know that more important than comfortable, is passion. Why not do what you love? It shouldn’t even be a question. I want that to be second nature to you. I want that knowledge, that frame of mind to be a piece of you, because you see me doing it.

I want you to always do what sets your heart on fire. And I want your souls to stretch and burn until you find it.

So here begins my new journey and still life sits the same. Except for the fire that’s been reignited in my soul. Except for the dreams and goals in my vision now. It’s up to me to make the rest of life change. The moves need to happen by me.

I’ve decided today, they begin.

Love, Mum

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